3 Minute Warning, Batista, Booker T, Bubba Dudley, Bully Ray, Chris Jericho, Christian, Devon, Dudley Boyz, ECW, Eric Bischoff, Goldust, Ivory, Jeff Hardy, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross, Kevin Nash, Lance Storm, Paul Heyman, Randy Orton, RAW, Ric Flair, Rob Van Dam, ROH, Scott Steiner, Sean Morley, SmackDown, Spike Dudley, Steve Austin, Test, The Big Show, The Jurrican, TNA, Tommy Dreamer, Triple H, Trish Stratus, Val Venis, Vince McMahon, WCW, William Regal, Wrestling Columns, WWE, WWF
Now that I have single handily brought Hachland back up. I have another request, this is a calling to anyone who has any heart for wrestling. It’s time we all stand together and build it back up.
In other words, at this current moment wrestling is dead. So what I’m going to do is help bring wrestling back in commentary. Slander is the greatest way to get things going. Yet, I know, hachland isn’t seen on a large market scale, no domain name, yet, the dream is bigger.
So with that said, I’m going to open up my first commentary of wrestling, in a long time, with what the major federations, including independent federations like ROH, NWA-TNA, CZW and XPW should do. Don’t worry, I’ll provide my voice on the current state of WWE and what I believe should be done.
First, in order for the uneducated wrestling fans, I shall start with WWE. Okay, if I’m going to sound like someone else for a second then so be it, but we all know WWE is not good at all. And it’s not only a shame that we now are forced to call it WWE and not WWF. But that’s what happens.
I’m going to start to next weeks Raw, skipping over this upcoming SmackDown. With last weeks big dropping news that Eric Bischoff is going to bring in Steve Austin for the No Way Out pay-per-view, Vince McMahon isn’t quite so pleased as Bischoff is.
So as Raw opens you see a white limo pulling up. The front license plate reads “WWE”. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler question who this could be. And just as Jim Ross welcomes the fans to Raw. We hear Paul Heyman’s music hits. Jim Ross mention that Heyman’s signed to a SmackDown contract. Heyman enters the ring and begins to talk about how the fans in ECW reacted and helped ECW go down as one of the greatest federation ever. He then said how he sits home on Monday Nights and realizes what great talent that Eric Bischoff is ruining. And then goes onto say how the whole brand extension is killing not only talent, but the prestige of a championship title. Heyman then goes on to say how he’s a business man and he also is one of the biggest fans of wrestling. He then calls out Rob Van Dam and says he hears the fans every Monday Night chanting “RVD! RVD!” Van Dam comes out and enters the ring. Heyman goes on and says how if it wasn’t for Mr. Pay-Per-View, ECW would never have survived as long as it did. Then Heyman begins to talk about when he was manager of a group known as the Dangerous Alliance. Heyman then asks RVD, as a friend and a fan of wrestling to join him. Van Dam takes a while, but before he decides Eric Bischoff’s music hits. Bischoff asks Heyman “What in the hell are you doing?” (This next part I will put into transcripts so it’s easier to read.)
Heyman: “Doing what you did in WCW.”
Bischoff: “Heyman, regardless of what was done in the past, I run this show. I own Van Dam and I want you to get the hell out!”
Heyman: “Oh, but Bischoff, it has everything to do with the past. That’s why Im here, that’s why you are here and that’s why are these fans are here.”
Bischoff: “Since when did you care for the fans?”
Heyman: “Since when didn’t you care for the fans? I know you think this whole brand extension is the stupidest idea since giving David Artecie the WCW title.”
Bischoff” “Paul E. get the hell out of my building. And RVD you better go back to your dressing room before I punish you!”
Heyman: “Bischoff, you can throw me out. But promise me this one thing, tonight for your main event. Book this match – RVD versus Triple H.”
Bischoff: “Why the hell would I do that?”
Heyman: “Because of the fans.”
Bischoff: “Security! Get Heyman out of here!”
The security run down and escort Heyman to the back without any resistance from Heyman. As Bischoff follows Heyman out, he begins to say “I don’t ever want to see your face again!”
After the commercial break, Tommy Dreamer is inside the ring. He’s talking about how Heyman should be heard and how wrestling now is dead. The camera goes to the back as you see Christian watching the monitor as Bischoff walks by, Christian calls Bischoff over and shows him what Dreamer is doing and then Bischoff says “why don’t you do me a favor – shut him up!” Camera returns to the ring where Dreamer continues to talk then Christians music hits he hits the ring fast and begins to do Bischoff’s dirty work. Test suddenly comes out in aid of Christian and they begin to pummel Dreamer. Suddenly the Dudley Boys hit the ring and aid Dreamer. Then Lance Storm and William Regal hit the ring in aid of Test and Christian. Then suddenly Spike Dudley comes running out and gives Acid Drops to everyone. As referee’s and security stops the fighting. You then see Chief Morley telling Trish Stratus she’s ready, as you see Trish stretching out, the camera rolls up and you see that Morley has a huge bulge in his pants.
Cut back from second commercial. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler talk about what has just happened and Ross says that he is in total shock. Lawler brings up that Bischoff and Heyman have never seen eye to eye over the past. Ross then says he thinks that Heyman might have said something to click Bischoff. Bischoff then comes out and announces that if any of the Raw talent would like to join Heyman then they will be suspended without pay. He then mentions tonight’s Raw matches. He mentions that tonight with what has just happened and what happened last week, the Dudley Boyz will face Lance Storm and William Regal for the Tag Team Titles. And Christian and Test will face the team of Tommy Dreamer and Spike Dudley.
Chris Jericho’s music hits. Bischoff says cut the music and what the hell do you want. Jericho then says he’d like to face Test tonight. Bischoff agrees and then states he has to do something with Spike Dudley. Jericho whispers into Bischoff’s ear and Bischoff begins to smile and then announces Spike Dudley will face 3-Minute Warning! Bischoff and Jericho walk to the back as the camera goes to the back as Triple H and Ric Flair are. Flair states that maybe Triple H should face RVD tonight. Triple H is shocked. Flair says it’ll keep Steiner off your back. Triple H agrees and then says it’ll be non-title.
After the third commercial break a match between Trish Stratus and Ivory. Stratus gets the win. You then see Flair walking towards Bischoff’s office. Come back from fourth commercial, nearing the 10 o’clock hour. The Dudley Boyz versus Lance Storm and William Regal match begins. Regal adds a stipulation that it’ll be a table match. Jim Ross states he’s quite shocked about this. Lawler then says I’m shocked about tonight. Ross agrees. The match goes for twenty-five minutes, as Dudley Boyz attempt to throw Regal threw a table but it doesn’t break numerous times. Then Storm pulls out another table and just as he sets it up D-Von comes running towards him, Storm ducks and then hits D-Von with a spine buster threw the table Storm and Regal retain the titles.
After the fifth commercial, we see a promo of Kevin Nash and how he’s going with his injuries. Then Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler talk about the possible return of Steve Austin. And how that was the last thing that Bischoff had order in. We then see Jeff Hardy versus The Hurricane. Hardy uses a chair to get the win. We return from the sixth commercial break and we see the Chris Jericho versus Test match, Jericho gets the win after little to no show boating. Ross says Jericho seems like a focused man.
The seventh commercial comes to a close as we see Flair and Bischoff talking about how Triple H should have the opportunity to face RVD. Bischoff questions if the old man has gone insane. Flair says no I have not. Then we see Scott Steiner and Booker T. wrestle an excellent match. Steiner gets the win as Goldust costs Booker T. the match by hitting him with a chair on accident. Steiner cuts an interview after the match and says Triple H, your days as Champion are numbered.
We return from the eighth commercial, we see the white limo that we saw at the beginning of the show. Then we see Spike Dudley attempt to fight off 3 Minute Warning. 3 Minute Warning gets the win as Rico distracts the referee as 3 Minute Warning double team Spike and get the win. We see Bischoff and Chief Morley in Bischoff’s office. Morley questions Bischoff’s control and Bischoff comes back saying that Morley doesn’t have control over his little friend. Morley says it was his cellphone, but Bischoff just laughs it off and makes a phone call.
Back to Raw after the ninth commercial, Tommy Dreamer and Christian face off inside the ring. Dreamer gets the victory after a 18 minute match. In the back you see Rob Van Damn warming up and then you see Triple H warming up.
We return for the final segment of Raw, Bischoff has joined Ross and Lawler and they discuss what has happened tonight. And then Rob Van Dam’s music hits and he comes out. Triple H and Ric Flair come out and the two put on a fifteen minute match. And then Scott Steiner walks out and puts a chair up near the entrance area and begins to watch, the opposite side of the announcers booth.
The match begins to get exciting as Randy Orton and Batistia make their way ringside. Then out comes the Dudley Boyz and Spike Dudley. After a few more minutes, Orton jumps in and attacks RVD then the Dudley Boyz jump in as Batistia and Spike then join in. Flair d then attacks Spike. All eight men are battling each other as Steiner then picks up his chair and begins to run towards the ring. He sees a clear shot of Triple H and runs with the chair towards him, Triple H ducks and Steiner is hit with a van daminator from Rob Van Dam. Orton, Batistia, Flair, The Dudley Boys and Spike all battle to the outside of the ring. As inside the ring Triple H and RVD begin to look at Steiner who has begun to bleed and then they see each other and begin to wrestle again.
Then Bischoff leaves the announcers booth and then stands in the entrance way as Jericho, Christian, and Test all come running out. They attack RVD and then Test and Jericho begin to battle as Triple H and Christian work on RVD. Out comes Booker T. and helps RVD fight off Triple H and Christian and then Lance Storm and William Regal come out and attack RVD and Booker T. This leads to Goldust running out to save his partner. Now inside the ring we have RVD, Booker T. and Goldust fighting off Lance Storm, William Regal and Christian then Tommy Dreamer runs in and attacks Christian. As Booker T. and Goldust battle Storm and Regal to the back. Now all that’s left inside the ring is RVD and Triple H, as Steiner remains on the outside.
Paul Heyman and The Big Show now come threw the crowd as The Big Show enters the ring as Triple H and RVD are pounding on each other. Big Show comes behind Triple H and RVD backs off as Triple H slowly turns and then is caught in a chokeslam from the Big Show. RVD has propped himself on the top rope and delivers a five star frog splash. Paul Heyman revives the referee as he was knocked out in all the commotion. And counts the three as RVD gets the win. Heyman, RVD and Big Show celebrate and then exit threw the crowd as Bischoff chases them off. Steiner gets back up and looks in the ring and sees Triple H laid out. He enters the ring and then slaps on the Steiner Recliner. The show then ends. As you see Bischoff fighting threw the crowd to get to Paul Heyman.
To Be Continued…