Yes, it’s nearly a month after the fact. The fact being Halloween. But seeing Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and no reason not to celebrate Halloween just a little late.
So anyhow, what is this all about? Why are you calling this a late Halloween? And why is “In The Year 2000…” in the title as well? Okay, so I don’t have all the answers. But you have all watched Conan O’Brien and his segment “In The Year 2000…” Well, I got some images of stars that have starred on this segment. So what I’m going to do is give a reason why “In The Year 2000…” that you would be or should be scared to see them as a possible person that could ruin your life. So without further ado. Let’s go!
Now the first scariest person to encounter, and this is no particular order. Alright. Maybe from the funniest to the not so funniest or something along those lines. Or just what I feel like, so just read it all!
Why do you make me get side tracked?
Now, here is a person you just don’t want to run into on a Island.
It’s Jurassic Parks, Jeff Goldblum! Now why wouldn’t you want to meet him on a Island. Well, if your a moron then you need this explained. But seeing you are, I won’t. But Goldblum is your average Jewish star who made it big as The Fly. Now he is here with his black framed glasses, his odd futuristic neck brace and a green tint which builds up more and more questions. Yet, the main fear you should have of Mr. Goldblum is — Why the hell are you still getting acting roles? But is that the main question we should ask, because we haven’t even mentioned why I’m doing this. Okay, imagine if you will, Mr. Goldblum is your president “In The Year 2000…” What are your main fears of Mr. Goldblum’s Presidential tenure? If you said seeing Dinosaurs, then your a complete idiot. You should fear him pushing Apple Computers on you. Because the only thing more useless then Jeff Goldblum is Apple Computers. They go together like a crack head with dreams and the current vegetable known as Christopher Reeves.
Moving on ward. To the next person you should fear “In The Year 2000…”
It’s Kids In The Hall’s very own Scott Thompson. Who’s homosexual tendencies are openly noticed by the cult following of Kids In The Hall. Why should we fear Thompson? Simple. He’s not only a homosexual, but he’s a Canadian. Just look at his picture, if that doesn’t scare you, then this will – “Hi I’m Scott Thompson, and yes, I’m the fag.” If Thompson would rule the world, he would force us all to become homosexuals and be completely open with it. But more scary would be the fact that our universal flag would be the Canadian flag. A fucking Maple Leaf! A fag and a flag. What a scary combination!
Turning all heads another way, we shall notice the likes of a man that is seemingly portrayed as a homosexual, but of course is not. And who may that be you ask?
Well, none other than resident psychiatrist.Frasher Crane. But what should we fear about this man who’s bald head glimmers of a green atomic nature? That he not only isn’t a psychiatrist, but that he actually has a real name. A real name of Kelsey Grammer! Why should that scare you? Why should you fear this man? It’s simple. He’s spent more time in Prime time then virtually anyone ever! Plus with that smirk. He’s just has to be up to something devious and wrong. He’s trying to push smart thinking on all of us. Hey, he did spend 2 whole years at the Julliard School. Now if that doesn’t send shock waves of fear down your spine, then you should have along conversation with Stephen Hawkin.
Another man to fear is a friend of Mr. Grammer, or shall I say Sir Grammer as he refers to himself. With none other than former Cheers buddy…
It’s current Becker star Ted Danson. So why should we fear this former bartender slash owner of a pub located in Boston known as Cheers? Well, first of all, his hair plugs have turned GREEN!!! Sam Malone, should be feared. Not only was he a bartender and former baseball player, but he always somehow got the attention of a waitress seemingly all the time. Minus the fact that they’re both washed up former people that nobody really liked or cared about. But the scariest fact about Ten Danson is that, he is not Ted Danson, but the fact is Ted Danson died in 1994. This is in fact Jeff Goldblum!!!
Now with that said, it’s time to say those words we all know and love. The man that fought Rocky….
It’s resident Mr. T. So you ask what is there to fear about this former A-Team star? Other than his fear of flying, his big black van and those words he made so ever popular “I Pity The Fool.” Because we all know Mr. T will and does pity the fool. So what does that mean? It means he’ll kick your ass and tell you the truth! And he knows you can’t handle neither.
Now seeing we’ve cut threw the mass of scary. Let’s move on to the four scariest people.
Here we have Jim Carrey. What makes him scary? Well, first off the way he acts stupid and becomes famous for it. Yet, did you know that this Dumb & Dumber star was Once Bitten! Yes, he was bitten by a vampire so there is something to worry about. But he also was the only white member of a entire black cast of comedians known as In Living Color. He’s also a former husband of Jennifer Lopez. Yet, the biggest thing to fear is that he is the Six Million Dollar Man and he does have fun with Jane, because he’s the Dick! Fear stupidity. Oh, he’s Canadian as well…. Even scarier I KNOW!!!
Now Carrey is not the only one to fear that was on the In Living Color show. We also have this man to fear.
It’s Chris Rock! Fear Chris Rock! Why should you fear Chris Rock? Well, he’s played every role from crack head to the 13th Apostle. As well as playing a white blood cell to the president of the United States. But the main reason you should fear him is because well, he’s going to take a Sick Day soon. And that should send fear into everyone!
Now the battle for the scariest person and the biggest person to fear is well, seemingly a tie. But it’s not so I’m sad to say this to all the fans of this guy. But he’s not that scary.
It’s Andy Richter. And some guy said the only thing to fear is fear itself. But think about this for a second, it’s Conan’s show, yet Andy has a show called “I’m With Andy.” Now think about that…. Because obviously there is somebody with Andy, according to his white face and green hair. So keep thinking.
Yeah, I know that was short. But that last one causes you to think. Now moving on to the man you should fear the most…. Alright, it’s not a man, or is it?
It’s none other than Rosanne!
Well, this has been a scary presentation! I hope your not scared! Or as Julius Smokes would say are you SSSSSCCCCCAAAAARRRRREEEEEDDDDD!!!!!!