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I’m The 84th Annual Award show known as the Grammys… err.. the Oscars!! Wait, is it even called that? Nope, they hand out little awards and they call them Oscars.. the event is actually called the Academy Awards… Whose Academy is it?

Blah, blah… I could get in a entire long babble about who started it, why do they even need this event. Isn’t it just a huge marketing sceme to con the general public to go out and purchase these movies on DVD or even just to go to the local movie theater and watch these movies… Yes. Yes. And well of course another Yes.

But I’m going to whine and cry about the fact that every single year this award show is well… CRAP!

Movies that nobody enjoys are nominated and usually win, movies that the general public do not enjoy, movies that…….

THAT SUCK!!

Movies that are usually complete rip offs of other films and well, basically movies you do not like.

Seriously has anyone actually gone out and see The Artist? NO! I didn’t you didn’t. It’s stupid, it’s terriable!

If I wanted to go out and see a deaf French man walking around acting stupid, I would say, turn on the History channel and click mute. Because I’m not all that interested in watching French men at all. That’s kind of super queer!

And to top it off this entire movie is a rip off… a RIP OFF!! Yes, you heard me, in type….

Years ago all movies were in black and white and they didn’t offer music, sound or anything. They had a piano in every movie theater, some dude or old lady played it. I doubt they even played the piano while this movie was going on.

So you want me to pay ten dollars or even more to watch some black and white movie? Oh, you want me to buy some pop corn too? BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!

No thank you, no thank you at all!

If I wanted to do something thats not fun or not exciting…. I’d go sit in the bathroom… Atleast there’s more color and definetly more sound in that room.

Granted I’d have to pay for it all. Or my toilet would have to.

This past year I actually myself, yes, me, the guy writing this, I went to the movies this year. I saw the greatest remake of a movie ever………..

RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES!!!

It was awesome, it was iconic, it was legendary!

Now yes, I feel they could of had some minor differences… like more marketing.. I’d love to wear a t-shirt with one of those damn dirty apes on my chest….

That doesn’t sound right….

But back to this lame award show…

You know it’s bad when most of the top ten money makers aka the movies that actually made some money weren’t even listed in this award show.

I don’t remember anything about Harry Potter, didn’t see Johnny Depp in any of his fifteen movies he came out with this year.

Yes, 15 movies! Don’t believe me? GO RESEARCH IT!

These movies I talk about earned some serious buck. And what do I mean by serious buck? Well, it’s simple… they earned so much money they created this whole new word just for them, it starts with a B and rhymes with million!

Yes, BILLION!

I just learned about this word.

I didn’t know it was… errrrr

Yet, this lame movie we have to call the Artist.. It made just a couple of million. Yeah, just some chump change for people like you and me.

Not serious buck like a couple billion like what we’re used to having in our pocket every single day.

I so would like to see a award show that you and I would be happy to be a part of. One that would honor the movies we actually watch, and things we actually enjoy doing.

But NOOOO!!

We’re not allowed to do this because big Hollywood won’t let us have any fun.

So with that said I refuse to watch this movie.. I will only watch things containing this mans talent..

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