Abyss, AJ Styles, Al Snow, Austin Aries, Bobby Roode, Brooke Hogan, Brooke Tessmacher, Bully Ray, Christopher Daniels, Crimson, Devon, Dixie Carter, Frankie Kazarian, Gail Kim, Garett Bischoff, Goldberg, Heel, Hulk Hogan, Impact, Jeff Hardy, Jeremy Borash, Joey Ryan, Joseph Park, Kurt Angle, Mean Gene Okerlund, Michael Cole, Mickie James, Mr. Anderson, Rob Terry, Rob Van Dam, Robbie E, Samoa Joe, Sting, Tara, TNA, Velvet Sky, Wrestling Meme, Wrestling Review
Week number two of LIVE iMpact hit us again this week. Full with the drama, the Dr. Hogan antics and the brother disorder. Well, there was a whole bunch more too. But those are the three big things, well, along with GutCheck University, Austin Is a Aries, Devon & The Jersey Off Shore, Brooke Is A Broke Ass 50 year old and much more that I can’t recall at this opening, but well, maybe will let you know later. Oh, like Jeff Hardy’s Eyes.
Now already that’s a lot more going on than over at the UnUSA Network which I have been banning all week, very successfully as I might add. Hey, I know I’m doing fairly well, no need to hand me a cookie or anything.
Well, this weeks iMpact opened up with the drama or as I’m calling it “Dixie Loves A Style” Or maybe that needs some work… Daniels & Kazarian hate Dixies Stylin’ Love? Ehh.. Terrible. And no, it’s not terrible like this little angle, I mean at first I thought it was, but now that I see it actually has legs and that it could actually have staying power I’m starting to get interested. I mean after all over there on the UnUSA Network they have two of their top stars involved in a crazy ass girl. Why can’t tNa do the same thing? And even better have the top face in your company involved with the head of the entire company. That’s quite similar to whats going on over there too. With the so-called King of Kings marrying the Princess of Princess. Now, maybe I’m trying to connect things that don’t need to be connected. And maybe in turn it will show that there is things that they are so-called copying.
But in all seriousness When A Dixie Loves A Phenomenal One is a tricky angle to have after all where are we going with it. Is this going to actually turn AJ Styles heel? Could Dixie’s love for AJ push him heel? Such as giving him help in getting the world title? But then again we already saw AJ as a heel, it didn’t work. Yet again, we saw Dr. Hogan as a heel before he became Hollywood Hogan. Will we see all of this fuzzle in our face? Maybe. That’s what we all fear. It needs to definitely go somewhere. DEFINITELY!
Austin Is A Aries is next well, Joe’s Gona Text You interrupts that. A little battle of the so-called unappreciated is upon us at this Slammiversary, a little I’m better than you, I interrupted your match. Joe versus Aries is a great idea. Especially that these two guys could put on a series of great moves and power house moves. I mean yes, we know Aries is the X Division Champ, thus being a little guy, but he can play big especially against Joe. And for some reason the title isn’t on the line, which I don’t understand why not. It’s the 10 year anniversary Pay-Per-View, it’s like a big deal, yet we’re not gona put the title on the line? I don’t understand that. Other than I think that some weight requirement thing is on the X Divison title, not like Joe isn’t a former X Division champion. Either way this will probably be the match of the night.
Unless the man who got the victory of Aries, a Mister Crimson ends up becoming the epic match of the night. After all Crimson is undefeated for nearly 500 days, I think the count is like 470 days or something. He put out an open challenge to anyone who thinks they can beat him to show up at Slammiversary. He even made a verbal knock at that guy Goldberg. Now the only difference between Goldberg and Crimson is well, build up for one. Goldberg as you know was getting build up like crazy, while Crimson gets brief mentions here and there. And well, now it’s here. And the here question is will Goldberg face off against Crimson? Or will it be the I wrestled a dark match former WWE Talent Chris Masters? Or what if that little Gut Check U guy does something here? You know Joey Ryan. Either way, Crimson is being pushed greatly and it’s pretty good to see. I mean yes, TNA has it’s homemade talent like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Bobby Roode and James Storm, while some of them made their names in the independent scene Crimson has mainly wrestled in TNA since his inception which came about after two tours in Iraq. That wasn’t a For The Troops tour either, that was here’s a gun, there’s your hat now go kill. Yeah, didn’t know that. He’s a cocky heel, so no need to mention that.
Dr. Hogan side stepping the backstage promoting his daughter. Which ehh.. Could this be something good? I mean what’s the point of bringing her in if she’s not going to turn on her father? I mean come on there has to be something down the line that happens that forces them to face off against each other. Just has to be. Maybe something like who gets the main event a male wrestler or a female wrestler. Or maybe Brooke gets some heel wrestlers on her side. Something.. We can’t just have her for the media, because she has no media following anymore, it’s not 5 years ago when she had a voice.
Speaking of Dr. Hogan’s Daughter she is hanging out with the Knockouts and informing them that she’s going to promote them and get their names out there like never before. Odd. I mean, who doesn’t know about girls? I guess a rock, and not that movie star. Well, she goes on to tell the girls that one of the girls is going to be able to be in a music video or something like that. I don’t know, wasn’t paying attention Either way whatever was said pissed off Mickie James, that girl who was on the UnUSA Network and has a few country songs under her belt. Maybe James will go heel. Would be cool. Oh, and if you didn’t know Gail Kim, the Knockouts Champ, she’s famous too! Just ask her husband, he might find it a little Impossible too.
The Dr. Hogan segment hour continues as now we’re back in the ring as Dr. Hogan and the IT Factor start bickering. Wait, you don’t know the IT Factor? That’s our great World Champion, you know Bobby Roode. He’s complaining how he’s the longest reigning World Champion ever and wait… He’s undefeated, Crimson is undefeated and wait, Austin Aries has held his title for a long time too. Interesting. Three way dance for Mr. TNA? But then again, I have a feeling three other guys will be battling for Mr. TNA, then again let me shush on that. And go back to the IT Factor he’s pissed off at Hogan, starts to attack Hogan and then Sting comes out. Well, Blue Sting comes out. Maybe he’s sad. Maybe he just wants the World Title. Well, they battle it around and well, that’s about it. Sting or Roode, who will win the title. I think Roode will continue to hold on to it. Maybe..
The Knockouts battle it out in a four way dance. We got Mickie James, Velvet Sky, Tara and don’t call me Brooke Tessmacher. Some pretty sweet moves in this one and well, don’t call me Brooke wins. And maybe she will this Sunday when she battles Gail Kim for the Knockouts Champion!
Next up is the Brother Disorder Feud, the my brother is, Chris you know, Abyss. It’s the I’m a lawyer Joesph Parks and the I’m not a Bubba, I’m a Bully, Bully Ray. This is actually my biggest like right now in TNA, I like it. I mean I REALLY like it. It could either be the best thing ever or well, a dud. I’m hoping for something real good. Especially seeing Abyss has some how returned. While Joesph Parks argued with Abyss on this event which kind of made me laugh and yet a loyal reader of Hachland upset, because he just doesn’t see how great this feud could be. Imagine if you will, a three way dance. I can see it, can you? I think it would be the sweetest thing ever. Or maybe they turn it into Joesph Parks is actually Abyss, go with what we all think is going on and make it that way. Either way this match come Sunday will be well, VIOLENT!!!! Plus I don’t know if you know this but I’m Still Guilty!
Now it’s time Gut Check U, the U is for U and I! Joey Ryan is backstage, somehow, I don’t know why they would let someone backstage that they didn’t sign, but well… He’s backstage calling Taz a has been. When Al Snow interrupts him and takes him out of the arena. I don’t know how this thing is going to work out, is he going to battle one of these legends or not? Either way the internet loves Joey Ryan! And well, I just want to Legalize Sleaze! After all Sleaze is after my own heart for all of you who have read my Wrestling Story…..
Next up is the Television Champion Devon don’t call me a Dudley. It’s time to defend the title, because that’s what we do now. I mean after all every time we’re on TV we must defend the TV title. Now the Jersey Not Shore or maybe they’re the Robbie’s Who Love Sweaters, either way they battle it out, well, one of them battles it out with Devon, and well, they lose. Yet well, eh, Easy Garrett is siding with Devon, he helped Devon win after well, Robbie T tried helping Robbie E win. It was a good old let’s fool with the referee match, and well, these four will all battle it out in a tag team bout at the PPV. Because well, it’s not TV, it’s PPV.
Dr. Hogan is back again and this time he’s interrupting the world and well he announces that at next weeks iMpact RVD, that’s Robert Van Dam The First as well as Mr. I’m Not Really A Anderson as well as Jeff Hardy’s Eyes will battle it out well, they will battle it out at the Pay-Per-View and the winner will become the number one contender because well, these three guys are the biggest faces in the business. Well, this business we call TNA. So we’ll have the first ever Mr. TNA. Yeah, why don’t we just give them a Mr. TNA title. Either way the winner of this Mr. TNA bout will battle against Sting or Bobby Roode for the World Title. So we’ll just have to see where this all goes. I mean the internet world hates it when a World Champion is crowned on Television. Which I don’t quite understand, because well, TNA needs ratings and that’s one way to get ratings. Then again it will suck to see Sting defeat Roode at the PPV and then drop the title a few days later. Then again if it makes Roode even more of a heel…. Yes, that would be good, more heel! Roode after all is one of the best pure heels in the business. Name some one better? Oh, that’s right you can’t!
To end the show we had a 6 man tag bout which showcased the heels and the faces. The heel team consisted of World Champion Bobby Roode, Christopher “I’m the Walking TMZ” Daniels and Frankie “You can call me” Kazarian for short they battled the likes of Sting, Kurt “Oh, Crap we forgot about him” Angle and AJ “No, I’m not the crazy bleep I just her boy toy” Styles. Styles for some reason never showed up I don’t know why for some odd reason. Maybe he was too busy getting his Dixie cup filled. Hmm.. Anyways, it was your classic heels versus faces bout where the heels controlled everything until the returning Styles came out and took advantage of everything. At the end Sting got Roode to tap out to the Scorpion Death Lock thus making us all think that maybe Sting can beat Roode… But then again who knows!
The show was pretty decent I mean after all I enjoyed it. So I guess that is a plus. Also I liked everything about the show minus the whole Dixie Drama. Well, I mean I liked the concept and all, but I really, really hate the repeating, the remember this. I’ve always hated that with wrestling. STOP REMINDING ME WHAT HAPPENED 2 SECONDS AGO!!! I mean after all it’s only a 2 hour show without counting the commercials which leads it to more of a 1 hour and a few minutes so please don’t tell me what just happened, let us tell you if we remember it!
Other than that I’m really looking forward to the future of TNA after all it’s not the other guys. But then again I see the stock price went up a few cents for the other guys. They must think that Michael Cole is the future now. TERIBLE! JUST TERRIBLE!
Either way stay tuned to Hachland for a special Russo, M.D. Edition of TNA Slammiversary. Oh, if you don’t know, Russo, M.D. That’s what I call things around here now for like wrestling angles and gimmicks and Russosisms… Ehh.. I don’t know but maybe you do!
So remember live life to the fullest… Or YOLO. But for me I’m a heel. Thus I lead a Heel Life Style! Or something…