I have never written a PPV preview before. However I feel that my knowledge has grown over the past year thanks to the likes of @thehachland (Pritchard Guy) and @MattB928…both of whom are saviors of the masses here at Hachland, or at least they write like they are! So I decided to chime in with my predictions for tonight, and feel free to agree or disagree, NO! NO! NO!, with my assessment.
Orton v. Del Rio
Really what is there to talk about with this matchup. The WWE really doesnt know how to proceed with Orton, and his 120 wellness violations. As I try and think about what to actually say about this match, my eyes are starting to close…which is probably what will happen while watching also.
Del Rio wins via submission
Kofi Kingston v. The Miz for IC title
The WWE only changed the hands of the title on their new TV show to promote how exciting watching Wednesday night wrestling can be. Is Sunday Night Heat back too? Kofi has been rolling since he has broken away from R-Truth and Lil Jimmy. I find Kofi to be more exciting holding the belt, however most people feel the belt has lost its luster. How could it have any luster? Its white and ugly….and can only be pushed right now by someone a little more awesome.
Miz wins via pinfall
Divas Championship Match Eve v. Layla v. Kaitlyn
The women’s division has actually been a little more tolerable to follow since Eve has won the title. Better story line, better wrestling. In the end, I see Layla doing most of the work to earn the pinfall, and Eve stealing the show.
Eve defeats Kaitlyn via pinfall
World Heavyweight Championship Match Sheamus v. Big Show
Could have the most intriguing ending of the night. This match should be a slobber-knocker. Wow, sounds dumb when JR says it, and even looks dumb in writing. Sheamus bores me to tears, and while I found it funny that he beat Daniel Bryan in 18 seconds at Wrestlemania, Goatface made the title fun. Big Show has been terrorizing the WWE since he signed his new contract and tonight is the night it finally pays off.
Big Show wins via KO and new Heavyweight Champion ….
45 Seconds later … As an angry Sheamus brogue kicks Big Show into next week – Dolph Ziggler appears minus EXCUSE ME with his money in the bank contract …
Dolph Ziggler wins via pinfall and new Heavyweight Champion
WWE Tag Team Match Team HellNo v Team Rhode Scholars. Bryan is my new favorite wrestler, YES YES YES Matt it happened. Kane is doing the best work of his career! This is the best thing the WWE has going for them right now, and the chances of them losing this match are about the same as Goatface shaving.
Team HellNo wins via pinfall and still tag team champions…I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
WWE Champion CM Punk v. Ryback (Hell in the Cell)
This match has the ability to go two ways. The first possibility I see is that CM Punk holds onto the title via disqualification as Brock Lesnar interferes with the match F-5ing Ryback and Ryback wins via disqualification and the belt does not change hands. This would lead to a possible match between Lesnar and Ryback at Wrestlemania. Its a could theory, as discussed with @MattB928
The second theory that I have…and this is going to be my final answer…I see no way in which Punk can beat the physical strength of Ryback. A Punk loss over Ryback paves the way for a match at the Royal Rumble between Ryback and The Rock, who then wins the WWE title. Meanwhile, CM Punk, goes into the Rumble and wins having never accomplished this feat. This scenario sets up Punk v. Rock at Wrestlemania, a Punk main event match, a win, and his respect.
Winner and new WWE champion Ryback.
As always feel free to comment here or on twitter @ken_progolf