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With one of the most epic wrestling events ever just a mere hours away I think it’s once again time to check input my predictions. You know those that will surely go wrong. But hey, that’s why we do them. You know?

The insanity of this weekend is well, just that insane! It’s something that I have recently put on my Worst Mistake In My Life list for not attending this event or at least any of the series of events that have occurred this weekend. Especially with this event being only about three hours away from where I live.

Oh well, maybe next year. When it’s twenty one hours away and nearly 1500 miles away. Hey, maybe someone will be so kind to fund my trip.

To add to the sad part of missing WrestleMania… on and off again Hachland Writers Matt and Ken are both visiting the big show…

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Enough about this sad song… Let’s move on to the predictions!

Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls vs. Team Rhode Scholars & The Bella Twins

The winner of this match is probably going to be Tons of Funk… Which hopefully will be boo’d out of the arena. But they probably won’t be. Because Ken loves the Tensai. But this is a eight man mixed tag match which and probably will result in the break up of Rhode Scholars… Oh wait Team Rhode Scholars, because in today’s WWE if you are a tag team than you must add the word team to your tag team name. Imagine if the Road Warriors were around now? They’d be Team Road Warriors.

Winners : Tons of Funk & The Funkadactyls

Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

The legend known as Chris Jericho will attempt to wrestle Fandango in his first ever WWE match. The first match of Fandango not Jericho. All because nobody can pronounce Fandango correctly. This will start with some of the same fanfare of every Fandango event as he will not wrestle until someone pronounces his name right. And hopefully they will have the Iron Sheik come out and attempt to pronounce his name. Sadly that won’t happen.

Winner: Chris Jericho

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H (w/ Shawn Michaels)

Due to the recent results of Brock Lesnar matches I’m guessing Triple H will win. But who knows? I guess I have to at least take a guess. And my guess is that Dixie Carter will come out and bring out RVD to attack Brock Lesnar officially restarting the Monday Night Wars. Okay, maybe not. Yet maybe HBK will turn on Triple H costing him the match and leading him to retirement.

Winner: Brock Lesnar

Team Hell No vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston (w/ AJ Lee)

This will hopefully lead to the break up of Team Hell No. Because I personally am getting really sick of we’re the going right now. Especially seeing that Harold was last seen in TNA. Because he bounces back and forth to get money. How lame, right? Any ways… Team Ziggler will win and Daniel Bryan will somehow lose. Leading to him having another bad WrestleMania thanks to AJ Lee. Or hey, maybe they get back together.. Who knows?

Winner: Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

The battle of the buldge. Ryback versus Ryblack. Ryback will get the win because hey, Mark Henry is old. But Ryback won’t be able to lift Mark Henry.

Winner: Ryback

Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show vs. The Shield

There is a lot of people predicting that Randy Orton will turn on Sheamus and the Big Show… But I think the Big Show should turn and join the Shield. Talk about a injustice.

Winners: The Shield

The Undertaker vs. CM Punk

This is too easy. Especially seeing they ruined Big Rob’s prediction of the urn holding special powers. Idiot booking committee. The streak lives on!

Winner: The Undertaker

Alberto Del Rio vs Jack Swagger

The battle of crazy political rants will end as Del Rio will get the win over Swagger because we live in a Latino world order. Only if they would bring back LWO…. Oh well.. Del Rio gets the win.

Winner: Alberto Del Rio

The Rock vs. John Cena

In the Once In A Lifetime: Rematch, we see The Rock as the Champ versus John “I wish he was still the Prototype” Cena. And the winner is… Cena… But Ziggler will come out and cash in and win the title. Only because The Rock refuses to put over a guy with spaghetti for hair. Because that’s not what the Rock is cookin!

Winner: John Cena

Wade Barrett vs. The Miz

In this epic Pre-Show match seen only on YouTube… the winner will be The Miz… Because he’s AWESOME!!!

Winner: The Miz

And… The whatever happened to Antonio Cesaro he’s not having a match although he’s the United States champion.. according to Wikipedia.. “did not have a match at Wrestlemania 29 despite being United States champion.”And obviously