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When I was younger, much younger than I am now, I had this friend, for sake of not blowing up his life or ruining what’s left of it we will just call him Douglas. You see Douglas was your average 15 year old kid, he went to school in which he did moderitly okay. He was never an A student but he never failed a class. He was your average white American male living in a town outside of a somewhat successful city. And when I say successful, I mean the city is probably one of the top 100 cities in the entire land which is our land, you know the United States. But the fact of where he lives isn’t the story. The story is who he is and what he did.

You see, Douglas was my friend. We played football together and every now and then we’d hang out on the weekend. Living in the town we did made that quite difficult at the age we were. We lived miles away too many to walk and an unsafe travel for a bicycle ride. So we relied on our parents. 

Douglas came from a broken home. He didn’t brag about it and at times seemed quite ashamed of it. I on the other hand, didn’t. But I didn’t brag about it either. Growing up in the years we had it was still not talked about like it is now. People didn’t talk about it but then again what’s to talk about. People just didn’t want to stay together. 

Douglas came over to my house one Friday night and we were planning on having a bonfire. We were about 15 or so years old at this point. Too young to drive around legally and too old to just have a bonfire party and be cool with it.

Somehow and I’m not sure how this happened a few older kids from school came over. Not sure if we had called them, I know at that time I was too shy to do this. And I don’t think Douglas would be willing to invite other people over to someone else’s house. Or maybe they had just saw the fire and wanted to stop in.

As Douglas and I were hanging out in front of the fire, these older kids stopped by. These older kids were a couple years older than us like 16, 17 and maybe even 18. There were three of them, two girls and a guy. And no this wasn’t the cast of that 1990s sitcom. 

Them stopping by shocked both Douglas and I. We somehow managed to not seem to lame. Although I did stutter a little especially to the one girl who I did have a crush on. She was a very cute girl who had blonde hair, blue eyes and smelled like flowers. She and I had talked a little in school especially during lunch. Julianne or Juli for short seemed to like me. She loved reading a lot especially poetry. She would share her own poetry with me. I would always praise her on her creations even if some of them didn’t make any sense.

The other two were also people Douglas and I would talk with at school. And after this little get together I had learned Douglas had a huge crush on the one girl, her name was Monica. Unlike the girl I liked, she had brown hair, freckles and smelled of a unique smell as we would later learn was a fragrance from Victoria Secret. Douglas and Monica ended up walking away from the fire to get a little privacy. 

Which meant Juli and I were all alone. Well except for the fact Frank was there. Frank was just their driver and from what Juli said to me weeks prior to this meeting that he was gay and loved this one guy at school. So I figured it would be cool if I had inched my way closer to Juli. 

As I went to make a move, something that wasn’t too epic or anything like that.I suddenly realized that me hooking up with Juli wasn’t the game plan. Because I was actually on Frank’s list. Yes. I was the guy Juli had spoken about. I was the guy he wanted. 

It’s funny looking back on this but talking to a girl about poetry and how you like certain kinds of music means that you’re not interested in her but guys. I didn’t know this at all. Still don’t quite understand it and it was the first time I made a guy cry. 

Surprisingly he wasn’t the only guy to cry that night. As after they left I cried. I guess Juli didn’t think much of me.