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A year ago today this picture was posted on Facebook, it was of a trip to the Rosemond Gifford Zoo in Syracuse, New York.

While the adventure was fun, I spent it with Lindsay, my uncle Nonnie and aunt Amy there was an underlining problem occurring which I didn’t know was going on. I didn’t realize the pain I was suffering until seeing this photo. I still haven’t discovered it fully, but it’s quite evident with the look on my face.

I’m not sure if the picture was taken at the exact moment where I either didn’t start smiling or had just finished for some reason. Or even the other factor of maybe it’s my facial hair making me look depressed.

Whatever the reason I wasn’t overly happy. I had to work that night and leave my family. That part always gets me depressed. Well, both things actually. But leaving my family is sad.

For as long as I can remember when visiting my grandparents, my mom would put on this brave face and not be sad  at all. And then for instance when we were leaving their house, we’d turn the off of their road and she’d start balling. Tears would pour out and everything.

Maybe that’s what was going on.

It could also be that at that time in point I was unhappy with my job. Yes, I know working nights isn’t the greatest. But at that point things weren’t overly great at the store I was at, and it got me in a rut. I’ve since changed stores, and well, it was even rougher and crazier especially around the holidays.

But now..

Oh now, I’m actually a little happy. Whether it being the weather, the fact I got a new camera and have been enjoying working on this website.

I thank the camera big time. I’ve found a new project, a new hobby other than waking up and going to work. It’s fun just trying to one up myself in taking a better picture. Or even seeing what others take pictures of and trying to take a better version of that.

And it’s just fun talking about the pictures and sharing them.

I’m not sure if I’m still that depressed. I’m not sure if I ever was depressed. But at one time in my life I was a sad penguin.

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