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Throughout our lives we learn things about ourselves, about others, about the beauty that is this life. We learn that some things are easily obtainable, others are anything but obtainable.

Life has it’s ups, it’s downs and times that make you wonder what this whole life thing is about. The jubilance of sharing a moment with someone to the unbelievable pains of loving that someone.

It’ll make you want to live to the edge and at times it’ll make you want to hide away. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow, it’ll make you yell and scream. Demand answers to be answered. People to come face and explain why this happened.

Sadly, there’s no answer.

I’ve looked for it, I’ve seeked it. I’ve attempted to rationalize why it happened. It’s still stuck in my head, constantly. The pain will never go away. I’ll always be reminded by the pain.

But what numbs that pain is the memory, the memory of what was. Of those little moments, those brief times when life was worth living. When there was no thought of pain. When you could never think of the pain, the inevitable pain we all feel and fear.

Understanding this, trying to come to terms with it, that’s basically all we can do. There’s no users guide to life, there’s no explanation why someone we love has to be taken away. All we can do is cope and of course hope. Hope that it doesn’t happen, hope that the people we still have in our lives are still there and love us.

The pain for me set to realization on October 25th, 2009. I’ve tried to analyze it, I’ve tried to over come it. I even looked at the date, what significance is this date. Is there a hidden message?

There has to be some meaning here. We can’t just lose people we love.